Below you'll find an outline and suggestions on how to host a DinnerTable in your city. Each DinnerTable is going to look a little different and that is great! We've have several ambassadors host dinners in Oklahoma City and they all looked a little different but they all had the same vision. Ambassadors are an example to the DinnerTable attendees of what a diverse relationship can and should look like. 

Things to think through: 

  • Ambassadors will need to already have a healthy relationship to model before facilitating a DinnerTable.
    • If ambassadors are just introduced to each other we ask that they meet for dinner 1 or 2 times before hosting a DinnerTable. That gives them a chance to get to know each other and build relationship that will be evident at the DinnerTable they will host together. 
  • Decide what your DT will look like, location, time, adult vs family, home or restaurant.
  • Be sure to have a racial balance with the 8 to 10 you plan to invite
  • Send reminders prior to the dinner
  • Make sure your assignments are divided evenly between the Ambassadors (
  • Establish a set of racially thought provoking deep questions
  • At the event, establish the tone and ensure everyone that it’s a safe place (set ground rules)
  • Give each person the opportunity to speak, make it safe for "passing"
  •  No social media - no 'live-tweeting' 
  • Take notes, but make sure they know that you aren't recording names, etc. ("We are taking some notes so we can remember the great points). 
  • If time allows and the atmosphere warrants establish the next meeting day and time, it could be in a different location, whatever the group decides.
  •  Prepare closing thoughts and re-assure that everything said will remain confidential and safe. 

Here are some helpful resources and suggestions:  

  • Dinner Outline: 
    • Small Talk - Greet Attendees & Get Names (don't be afraid to right names down so you can learn them). 
    • Order Food
    • Ice Breaker Question - What made you sign-up for DinnerTable? 
    • Share Vision: "We recognize that families that take time to connect and share at the dinner table on a consistent basis tended to be stronger families. It if works for immediate families it should also work for us. We want to connect people through the avenue of the dinner table with the goal of reconciliation. We hope that genuine relationships can start here at the DinnerTable."
    • Creating a Safe Place: "We want to create a safe place where people can ask uncomfortable questions, comfortably. We will not be posting quotes or one-liners to social media. This is safe place. We've had people start dinner saying one thing and by the end their views have changed and they might not say or belief what they said at the beginning of dinner. We don't want to just capture one moment. This is place where we can eat and fell safe enough to talk to someone of another race, about race without offense." 
    • 1st Question 
    • 2nd Questions (if you have time - you'll find time flies!) 
    • Closing: "Thank you so much for coming! We'd love to hear your thoughts. Please don't hesitate to email us your thoughts about the dinner. You might of wanted to share something and we ran out of time. Feel free to share with the group. We are happy you were able to attend. Your input and insight was valuable." 
  • Follow-Up: 
    • Send Thank You email within 3 days of dinner. 
      • You can highlight some of the great things you worked through. 
      • If you want to host another dinner with the same group then you can provide information for the next dinner. 
      • We will have resources in the future that you can attach to the follow-up email. 

DinnerTable Questions:

  • How did your upbringing shape your views on race (for better or worse)? 
  • Have your racial views evolved from those of your parents? 
  • When did you first become aware of race issues in our own community? 
  • Tell us about the first time you became aware of your race and what brought it about. 
  • Do you think race relations is getting better or worse in our country? What about our local community?
  • Similar to school, if you could give our city a letter grade (A through F) on how we are doing when it come to race relations, what grade would you give out?